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So the doctor said, “You almost died…”

A few months back I had a couple of medical scares. The kind where you have to spend time in ICU. And yes, a doctor really said that to me.

So I have never really been happy in my life.  I have depression and anxiety, but I’ve also been overweight since I was 8 years old and my parents divorced. I have never been comfortable in my skin, or felt like I could be myself. I’ve been dieting off and on for over 40 years. All that’s happened is that every year I weigh a bit more and retreat even more from the world.

Due to the above hospitalizations and some further financial issues, I couldn’t afford take out or junk food to the extent I had been eating before. I lost 20 pound without even trying. Since then I’ve lost over 20 more. Just from not eating junk and stopping when I’m full.

Now I am definitely what I have recently heard described as a ‘woman of size.’ This is part of why I’ve been able to drop so many pounds relatively easily. I’m not actually ‘trying’ to lose weight. But I do want to walk 5 minutes without being out of breath and in pain. I want to fit into the average doctor’s office waiting room chair without leaving arm rest imprints in my hips that last all day. And someday (when I can afford it), I would like to buy a car without worrying if I can fit behind the steering wheel.

I’m not quite sure what I’m doing with this blog yet. I don’t know how often I’ll post. It should be safe for work, but I will occasionally swear. I want to share some of my experiments with cooking, self-improvement and self-care, and perhaps some nuggets of wisdom I hear along the way.

Did that sound pretentious enough? Am I doing this right?